Wednesday, September 24, 2008

In The Words of Melissa Etheridge - I'm Having A Breakdown

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, other than I feel a need to pour out my heart. This has been a week like no other and I'm just barely keeping my head above water. Leo has been back in hospital since Monday with a bowel obstruction. I've been told that this is fairly common after as many surgical procedures as he's had as it's caused by scar tissue. They are hoping it will clear itself and surgical intervention won't be necessary. Right now he's not allowed any food or drink and they have tubes pumping his stomach to get what little is left in there out.

Sandra got some devastating news yesterday about my little grandkitty, Elliot. I'm not going into details but my heart just breaks for her. Vets have been wrong before and I hope with all my heart they are wrong with this diagnosis.

In between all this, I have been working full time this week. Now everyone at work has seen me totally break down and do the "ugly cry".

Did I mention the wedding is just six weeks away? How about the fact that my Mother needs to go into an assisted living facility but refuses to leave her home?

I really thought I was having a breakdown today and my wonderful doctor called me to reassure me about Leo and prescribed some medication to try and help me through this rough patch. Hell, this rough patch has been going on for over six months! I'm not adverse to taking drugs - anything to help me sleep and stop crying at the drop of a hat.

Each 'problem' on it's own I think I could manage, but I am torn in so many different directions it's getting harder and harder to cope.


Deb said...

I'm so sorry things are so difficult for you still Irene. Hang in there, I thinking of you and sending hugs and prayers.

Mary said...

I've been there too Irene - it's everything together that causes our coping skills to fail us.

I'm doing a lot of praying for my uncle this week and I'll add Leo to my prayers.

Take whatever help you need to get you through.

Suzan said...

Irene, I am so sorry to read how difficult things are for you right now. Know that lots of folks are praying for you and your family and sending best thoughts your way. Take time for yourself. Get outside and walk. (That always helps me.) And take whatever meds help you cope. This too shall pass.

Dorothy said...

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I thought about you Monday as I was buzzing through Oakville on the QEW. I guess something in the universe told me you could use all the warm hugs you can get.

You need to sleep, you need to be strong and well for all those people who need you strong and well. Know that you're held up by many, many people who care for you.

rianammerman said...

I will swim along with you today. We will swim together through troubled waters and keep each other from drowning. I know the despair of which you speak, the feeling of about-to-come-apart-at-any-minute, can't-take-anymore. Rest often and be good to yourself. Breathe. In. Out. In. Close your eyes and visualize the white light. ((((((((Irene))))))))

Nadine said...

I wish I could do something more for you, Irene, than to tell you I'm thinking of you and sending warm thoughts and hugs your way. Take time out just for you, because you need that just as much as everyone else needs you. Keep yourself whole however you have to, but it's really okay to come unglued temporarily (and have a good cry) if that would make you feel better. No one will fault you for it.